her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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