she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
