who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
