He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
