rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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