I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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