My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
