I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
