I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize