apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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