yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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