1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize