No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
