ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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