yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
