i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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