i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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