Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
