I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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