Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
