the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
