I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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