In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
