Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
