Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
