super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
