She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
