I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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