She is in my trunk
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He? As in you personified your dick?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
