i can't believe i had my finger in that
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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