yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I wish they made helmets for livers.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I just found a bag of teeth...
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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