I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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