i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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