At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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