I like my sex mixed with concussions.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
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he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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