Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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