PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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