Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
