hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
