I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
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