Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Boobs are out for the taking
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
