i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
