lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
