Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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