he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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