she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
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Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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