Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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