Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
