some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
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I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
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Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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