So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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