some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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