Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
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Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize