She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even know how to be here
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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