this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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