New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
