can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
