stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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