Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
