we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.