I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator