Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?