I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
