Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions