I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
