the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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