...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I wish you could order shots online.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
